Agency is underrated. 

Truly. I can’t prove it. I can’t show you a chart or a graph or a bank balance that justifies that claim, but it is.

And the biggest problem is that the loudest voices are those who are currently winning from being in those kinds of bad deals that restrict their agency in return for exposure. It’s a tough catch, isn’t it.

It’s still hard to reconcile positive feelings for an influencer who has built their entire business on the back of another business and then has to deal with any negative consequences of (even if you look at it even in the most benign way) working inside of another digital ecosystem—or if you look at it more insidiously, making a deal with the devil for fame and popularity. 

Look. I spend at hours each week writing. I sit down at a keyboard using my own equipment and time and resources, spending my own money to pay for a hot drink at a cafe (because the lack of free third spaces to hang out is a whole other problem) and make stuff. That’s my sweat equity. That’s my work. That’s my effort turned into a real, tangible product. 

Is it a great product? 

Imposter syndrome aside, it only takes a few minutes on social media—rife with slop stories and selfie-narcissism videos and endless advertising for products no one needs and never-ending political rhetoric—to understand that my oft-rambling essays are hardly a bad deal for anyone.

People, when they find them, tend to like them—anecdotally speaking I suppose. 

I’m literally sitting here in a cafe with my attention split between this essay and my phone where I’m having yet another positive and thoughtful conversation in the thread comments of one of those essays posted earlier today: my point being that my popularity on those platforms is microscopic compared to others who sell their souls for better deals, but when my work hits… it really hits well.

So?

My deal is agency.

My deal is that I get to decide what I post, where I post it, and how I want to try to share it with the world.  I’m in control of what I make.

Big deal, huh? So what, you say. You got a million hits and I got fifty, you chide.

And that’s the rub, isn’t it. There is no metric that is going to support me on this. There is no generated report, or corporate business stat that is going to say “keep at it kid, you’re doing it right.” It’s all gut. It’s all vibe. It’s holding onto a human hope that tells me that the hard way is the right way, even if it is clearly not paved with gold. It’s telling me that what feels underrated now will turn out to be the right answer eventually.